Lincoln the President
by Bobthemasta
Summary: When the Louds' plane crashes into the White House, Lincoln ends up becoming the president of the United States.
1. Chapter 1: Screw The Police

Lincoln the President

Chapter 1: Fuck the Police

Okay, so I'm doing this. If you haven't read Lisa's Revenge, this will make

no sense to you. Read that first.

After Lisa got grounded for the rest of her life, Lynn Sr. and Rita decided to

take the Louds besides Lisa to Nazi Germany for their next trip. But it really

wasn't a family trip. The slaves that Lynn Sr. had in the underground

plantation had harvested enough weed for him to ship off to Germany.

Also, it's Nazi Germany because Hitler used the bunker to take over

Germany for the Nazis. Anyway, they were driving to the airport when

some cops came by. Since Lynn Sr. and Rita were sick of the kids' fighting

while in the car and on planes, they tied them up in ropes and duct taped

their mouths shut for the whole trip. They were stashed in the back. The

seats in the actual van were used to hold briefcases full of weed. To

anybody just passing by, it looked like some sort of kidnapping. "Well, well.

Lynn Loud, Sr. I knew that you would have turned up some sort of crime.

Now I have to add kidnapping to that 10-page list of crimes you

committed." said the cop. "Nigga, not this time! The kids were loud as shit

so we tied them up! I ain't doing shit this time!" said Lynn Sr. "Then why do

you have stacks of briefcases in each seat?" said the cop. "We're driving

to an airport so we can get to Germany." said Rita. "Seems legit." said the

cop. He drove away on his awesome motorcycle. When they got into the

airport, Lynn Sr. got on top of the plane and hot glued the sisters onto the

top. He untied and took off the tape from Lincoln. "Why aren't you gluing

Lincoln to the top?" said Rita. "Bitch, please! Lincoln is a fellow nigga! He's

also a guy, and nobody needs women, right?" said Lynn Sr. "You sexist

piece of shit!" said Rita. "Shut the fuck up, bitch! You're MY whore! Hoe, get

me some Mcdonalds, bitch!" said Lynn Sr. as he slapped Rita. Rita went to

Mcdonalds. "Dad, what the fuck, nigga!? You just beat Mom! I can't fucking

believe you're such a selfish hypocritical prick!" said Lincoln. Lynn Sr. then

slapped Lincoln in the face and kicked him in the nuts. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!

BE A FUCKING MAN! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE I'M THE FUCKING DAD OF

SUCH A WIMPY SACK OF SHIT! FUCK OFF! AND BESIDES, I'M THE FUCKING

AUTHORITY AROUND HERE, YOU FUCKING JEW NIGGER!" said Lynn Sr.

People around them started calling the cops because of child abuse. Then

Rita came back with an Egg Mcmuffin because it was 9:00 am. Then

Lynn Sr. got his cases full of weed and went on the plane. When he was

strip searched, nobody found any traces of weed on him. And they didn't

open the cases because they were combination locked. On the plane,

Lynn Sr. saw what Lincoln was watching because he was sitting behind

him. "Nigga, are you watching porn? Gimme dat phone!" said Lynn Sr. "Fuck

off, you sack of fucking shit!" said Lincoln. Lynn Sr. got out of his seat and

beat Lincoln and stole his porn. Then he saw that Lincoln had texts from

pornstars asking for sex. "Nigga! Dang, yo! You're lucky as shit! I can't

even find a good girl to cheat on your mother with!" said Lynn Sr. "DAD!

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" said Lincoln. "LINCOLN! There's a text

to Lori on here. It says 'Baby wanna sleep with me? I'm real hard right

now. Try to be quiet, I don't want Dad to find out.' And then Lori says

'Sure Lincoln. Let's do it on your bed so Leni doesn't hear it.' You fucking

asshole! You had sex with your fucking sister!" said Lynn Sr. "Nigger! Shut

your ass up! I didn't just have sex with Lori, I had sex with all of them, but

not Lily. That's fucking gross. Also, you're a fucking hypocrite! You just

raped Lori when she beat Lola! It's even fucking WRONGER when you did

it because Lori's a minor and it was rape! At least Lori gave consent and

we're both kids, nigga! So it's okay to rape your daughter but not okay to

have sex with your sister!? Fucking asshole!" said Lincoln. Lynn Sr. then

went over and beat Lincoln on his ass. He whipped him in the nuts and

slapped him in the face. Then plane security shot him in the leg and

dragged him to the back. Lincoln went back to his seat. He took out some

weed and lit it up and then smoked it. "Smoke weed everyday." said

Lincoln. Then he pulled up some more porn and started masturbating.

Everybody around him threw up because he didn't even make an effort to

hide the fact that he was fapping so everybody got to see Lincoln stroke

his throbbing dick. "Lincoln, stop that racket! I don't know what you're

doing, but knock it off! There's a reason we glued your sisters to the roof!"

said Rita. Lincoln kept fapping, just silently. When he came, he pulled his

pants up. Then gunshots were heard and the plane suddenly went in a

new direction. A masked guy was seen pointing a gun at the pilot's head.

"This plane has been hijacked. We're gonna fly it into the White House to

kill the president. We're gonna avenge our homie Osama bin Laden and

overthrow the American government, starting World War III. None of you

niggers move." said the terrorist. Lincoln got an awesome idea. He would

climb out and into the roof and save his sisters, and then when they were

close enough to the White House, they would jump out and tell Trump of

the terrorist threat, giving him and the others just enough time to escape.

So when the terrorists weren't looking, Lincoln went out of the emergency

exit and jumped onto the roof. He untied his sisters and got them into the

plane. Then when they were close to the White House, they jumped out of

the plane and landed in some trees. Then Lincoln got another idea. A really

awesome one. "I don't have to fucking save Trump! I can get him killed by

the plane and then without a president, I'll be the fucking president! In

this time of crisis, I will make the country awesome! I will make America

great again. And when those niggers bow down to my awesomeness,

I WILL CLEANSE THE COUNTRY OF ALL JEWS! AND WHEN! AND WHEN

THE WORLD BELONGS TO ME! I WILL PURGE THE ENTIRE WORLD OF ALL

ITS IMPURITIES! No more Jews! No more blacks! No more fags! No

more Mexicans! I'll make almost everything illegal for women except for

sex, and then! AND THEN! I'LL! RULE! THE! UNIVERSE! YES!

AND THEN! I! WILL! BE! GOD!" said Lincoln.

To Be Continued. 


	2. Chapter 2: Lincoln Becomes President

Chapter 2: Lincoln Becomes President

The Loud parents jumped out of the plane just as it crashed into the White

House. Everyone in the White House and in the plane was killed, including

Donald Trump. People screamed and ran for their lives. "FUCK YES! IMMA

BE THE NEW PRESIDENT!" said Lincoln. "Mass chaos today! The White

House was the subject of a terrorist attack. The president was confirmed

to be dead, thank god. But we still need a new leader in a time like this."

said the news guy. "I'll be the fucking president, fag!" said Lincoln. "Fuck

off, kid! Wait a minute. I guess if we elected Trump for president, an 11

year old kid wouldn't be that far off. Okay, we just need to look into your

records." said the nearby lawyer guy. They found Lincoln's records. "Well,

you're less than a third of the required age, you're a convicted criminal, you

have no expertise in the political field, you've disobeyed the laws, you

support genocide, slavery, banning gay marriage, launching nuclear

weapons, racial segregation, sexual segregation, religious segregation,

and legalizing weed, you're a sex offender, and a terrorist. But you're still

better than Trump, so whatever. You're the new fucking president." said

the lawyer guy. "YES! FUCK YES NIGGA! WHOOOO! BITCH! YO!

FUCK DA POLICE! YO!" said Lincoln. He used Mario Maker to make an

awesome castle to replace the White House, and went to the top floor.

"So, what fucking rules am I going to do? Oh yeah! I got that list of laws

I was going to make if I became president. So, number one. Legalize

weed. Well, all I gotta do is sign this paper and it's a law. Done." said

Lincoln as he signed an official-looking document saying that marijuana

was legal. "Number two, only allow straight white men to vote." Lincoln

signed another document. "Number three, give women less rights." Again,

Lincoln signed another law. "Number four, ban gay marriage." Lincoln did

some more signing. Then Lincoln went to the front of the new White House

to make a speech. While Lincoln was making all his laws, the other Louds

went back home. When the sisters sat down on the couch to watch TV,

Lincoln interrupted the TV broadcast to broadcast his speech. "We

interrupt this program to present a speech from president Loud." said the

interruption. Lynn Sr. and Rita went into the room when they heard about

President Loud. "I would like to start off by saying a quote from one of

my most admired historical leaders, Adolf Hitler. 'Mord die Juden, und

schlachtet die Schwarzen und Homosexuellen.' I actually don't fucking

know if Hitler said that or not, I just used Google Translate. But I would like

to say, from the bottom of my heart, fuck my sisters. They're fucking awful

and retarded sacks of crap. But anyways, I made some new laws. The first

one is that weed is legalized. The second one is that only straight white

men can vote. If you're gay, black, or a girl, then your ass is fucked. The

third one is that women earn ten percent of what men earn, can't vote,

have to listen to what men say no matter what, and are not allowed to

be treated as well as men. The fourth law is that gay marriage is illegal.

The fifth law is that slavery is legal. The sixth law is that racial segregation

is not only legal, but mandatory. Any school that is not segregated in any

way is going to be bombed. Bathrooms have to be in fours, one for men,

one for women, one for colored men, and one for colored women. Pretty

much everything now has to be segregated. The seventh law is that if

a person is not white, straight, male, and Christian, then they can be

arrested for any reason and are always guilty. The eighth law is that if

a person is white, straight, male, has a big dick, is Christian, is rich, has

white hair, is a Nazi, is not mentally or physically handicapped, is not

Jewish, and has had sex at least 20 times, they can do whatever the fuck

they want. Really, the only person who fits into those categories is me, so

get your asses together. The ninth law is that if a person is not white,

straight, Christian, male, and a supporter of Hitler and the KKK, they can

be killed for any reason and not be arrested for it. Tenth law, men can do

whatever they want to women. Eleventh law, all weapons are legal unless

you fit into any category besides white, straight, male, or Christian. And I

would like to thank the Islamic terrorist group that attacked the White

House for giving me this awesome job and allowing me to rule. Also, the

most important law, Law 12, is that I can do whatever the fuck I want,

bitch. It actually says bitch on the paper I wrote it on, by the way. So bye,

bros, and see my fellow niggas later." said Lincoln as he shut off the

broadcast. Right then, people all around America got out their guns and

started going on killing sprees. According to Lincoln, you can even kill

someone if you THINK they're gay or Jewish or something, so pretty much

anybody can kill anyone as long as they don't have definitive proof that

they're not gay or Jewish or something. "News Flash! Hell in America!

After President Loud broadcasted his speech 45 minutes ago, people all

around America are abusing these laws to commit heinous crimes and

do whatever they want. Tens of thousands of Americans were reported

to have been murdered today as a consequence of Loud's laws. Already, a

group of Black Lives Matter protestors have gathered at the White House.

When Loud found them, he ordered his bodyguards to open fire on the

crowd, killing about an extra 500,000. Today will go down as the saddest

day in American history. Share this message. #downwithloud." said the

news guy. The Loud sisters locked themselves inside of their house to

avoid being killed by retarded teenagers looking for girls to rape and kill.

Lynn Sr. got out an assault rifle and aimed it at his daughters. "Which one

of you bitches wants to die today?" said Lynn Sr. The sisters ran away.

He ran after them. When he found Lily he shot her in the head. He then

tried to find Lisa. As you know, she killed herself when she got grounded.

He eventually found her in the shed, on the floor, dead. "Shit, bitch! I

thought that hoe was alive! Fuck! I want to fuck my daughters so bad!"

said Lynn Sr. At the White House, Lincoln was counting his new-found

riches. "Being the president is awesome as hell. But now I have to nuke

some countries. All I have to do is press this button and I can launch a

nuclear weapon at Africa. Heh heh heh! Imma kill all of those niggers and

when they all die, I will rule the whole world!" said Lincoln.

To Be Continued. 


	3. Chapter 3: Trouble in Germany

Chapter 3: Trouble In Germany

"Mein Fuhrer, America's president, Donald Trump, has been killed by Islamic

terrorists. We can seize this opportunity to conquer America and rule the

world." said Jeff. "FUCK YES! Wait! Shouldn't there be a replacement

president?" said Hitler. "Nigga, there is a fucking replacement! FUCK!"

said Jeff as he read a news report on the new president. Hitler saw Jeff's

phone. " Dude, is Pornhub open on Chrome? Whatever, it looks like his

name is Lincoln Loud. That name sounds familiar, though. I'm pretty sure

one of my homies back in America, Lynn Sr. had the same last name as

the president." said Hitler. "Well, it looks like this Loud is only 11 years old.

It should be easy as shit to take the US now. When we get America, we'll

use the nukes to kill the rest of the Jews." said Jeff. "Nigga, get the tanks!

We take America NOW! And when we're the most powerful nation on the

planet, we'll rule the universe! Oh, and kill all the Jews." said Hitler.

"Mein Fuhrer, maybe we should contact the president so we can get an

idea on how we can kill him." said Jeff. Hitler called Lincoln. "Who's this

son of a bitch? I'm taking a blazin' break. You know, smoking some of that

old weed. Smoke weed everyday, yo." said Lincoln. "Look, fag, my name is

Adolf Hitler, and I'm the fuhrer of Germany." said Hitler. "Mah nigga Hitler!

When did you take over Germany, nigga?" said Lincoln. "I used that

bunker your dad gave me and killed those niggers at Berlin. I decided to

contact you to figure out the presidential situation at America." said Hitler.

"Nigga, Trump's ass was fucked by extreme Islamic terrorists. I took over

as president right after that orange nigger got his ass nuked." said

Lincoln. "Well, what are your weaknesses as a leader? Do you suck ass at

managing armies? Do you never launch nukes? Does nobody fucking like

you and you can't fucking do shit?" said Hitler. "Nigga, please! I need to

take a meth break and watch some more porn. But I'm awesome and

badass as fucking shit, so I ain't got shit as weakness." said Lincoln. "I'm

gonna go and kill some more Jews, so fucking see your ass later." said

Hitler. "FUCK! That son of a bitch is fucking badass as fucking shit! We'll

NEVER FUCKING TAKE THAT FUCKING AMERICAN PIECE OF SHIT! NIGGER!

ASS! JEW! FAGGOT! NIGGERFAGGOT!" said Hitler. "Mein Fuhrer, we're

gonna kill that Jewish Loud. Get the nukes, cuz we're gonna nuke that fag.

And when the White House is nuked, I'll go over and take over as the new

president." said Jeff. They got some nukes and launched one at the White

House. "FUCK! There's a fucking nuke after me!" said Lincoln. The nuke hit

the White House and killed Lincoln. The explosion destroyed Washington.

"News flash! Today is the greatest day in American history. Now that that

evil Loud is finally dead, we can get a NEW president. The White House

has been nuked and Loud has been presumed to have died. We will light

some fireworks and have a party. YES! FINALLY!" said the news guy.

Then an interruption happened. "I know that the White House was nuked,

but you assholes are fucking retards if you think that will kill me! I knew

that some asshole would try to nuke the White House to kill me, so I faked

being in the White House so people would try to kill me there. I'm not even

on Earth, so suck on this bull! I'm actually on a secret base and shit! Fuck

the police, yo! If any of you are trying to replace the president, listen to my

ass, nigga! The President Loud in the White House was actually a robot

clone I made of myself!" said Lincoln in his secret moon base. Protests

against Lincoln were held. Signs said things like "Black Lives Matter",

"Down With Loud", "Loud is Hitler", "Smoke Weed Everyday", "Don't Do

Drugs", "Coexist Peacefully", "Fuck The President", "Worse Than Trump",

and other stuff. Assassins all around America were pissed off at Lincoln for

trolling them about where he was. In Germany, Hitler was pissed off when

he found out that Lincoln was still alive. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUCK! NIGGER! ASS! SHIT! NIGGERFAGGOT! JEW! JEW! JEW!

ASSS!" said Hitler. "I FUCKING KNOW, RIGHT!? BITCH FAGGOT LOUD IS

GONNA TROLL US! THAT ASSHOLE IS WORSE THAN BOBTHEMASTA, HE

WRITES HORRIBLE FANFICTION ABOUT THE LOUD HOUSE AND NOBODY

FUCKING LIKES HIM!" said Jeff. "FUCKING TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK,

WHOEVER'S FUCKING WRITING THIS!" said Hitler. He got out a pistol and

went into the underground of the bunker in Germany. It was set up similar

to his old one, with a secret button leading to an elevator and a button

that turns the wall. He whipped the slaves and then shot one of them for

not doing any work. Then he pressed another button, revealing another

elevator, and went deeper underground. There was a map of the world and

pins placed on the map of where Hitler wanted to launch his nukes. One of

them was placed on London, one of them was on Washington, one of them

was on the North Pole, one of them was in Israel, and another one was in

Jesus City. "Fuck! I gotta rearrange cuz that fucking troll Loud is gonna

fucking troll me! Well, I can still nuke all of America, and then without the

United States, Loud will have no fucking power! Yes! That's what I'm gonna

fucking do! I don't give a shit about killing 300 million people, I already

killed about a tenth of that. Killing another few hundred million people is

no problem. I hereby declare war on America!" said Hitler. Hitler used some

offical looking paper to sign a declaration of war on America. "News Flash!

Germany has declared war on America! This may just be the start of World

War III, going by the nature of our current president and all of the war

being declared around the world. International tensions are growing

strong due to Loud's racist policies already, so it's only a matter of time

before all of the world's other superpowers will join in. We are already

concerned with the state of America, and we REALLY don't need World War

III on TOP of that. We're trying to communicate to Loud about the problem,

but it looks like he's more concerned with smoking marijuana and watching

pornographic videos. The world is in danger. We need to spread the word.

#stopworldwar3 #stoplincolnloud #blacklivesmatter #smokeweedeveryday

#fuckthepolice #makeamericagreatagain." said the news guy. "Oh fucking

bullcrap! I need to get the weed before Lincoln bans international export

and shit like that." said Lynn Sr. as he went downstairs to the underground

plantation. "Which one of you niggers wants your ass whipped?" said

Lynn Sr. as he whipped the slaves for no reason. Then he got some weed

and bagged it. "Nigga, get real, yo! 420 blaze it, homie!" said one of the

slaves. Meanwhile, on the moon, Lincoln was scheming. "World War III,

they say. Then I'll give them a war. I'LL GIVE THEM A FUCKING WAR!"

said Lincoln. He drafted some new laws and said "Niggas, get ready for

some fucking shit, cuz this bull is fucking ready!" said Lincoln.

To Be Continued. 


	4. Chapter 4: Return of Lisa

Chapter 4: Return of Lisa

Okay, so, yeah, I really didn't do shit for the past week or so. But Lincoln

the President is back, yo! But who really reads this anyway?

When the Louds got the information about Lincoln almost being nuked,

they decided it was time to stop Lincoln before he endangers the whole

world. So Lori got all her sisters into her room for a meeting. "We really

don't know where he is. It's not like there's any way to find him." said Lana.

"We really need Lisa, but she hasn't turned up ever since she got

grounded for the rest of her life. One of her gadgets could probably find the

dude." said Luna. "Well, Leni, go get Lisa. Wait, actually, that didn't work

out well the first time. Uh... let's all go." said Lori. They went to the shack

in the backyard where Lisa was relocated to. Then they found Lisa's

corpse. It was rotting away because it's been sitting there for a day. It

had pretty much everything you find gross about a dead body. It had flies

and maggots crawling on it, almost all of the flesh was eaten off, and it

smelled like dog shit that's been barfed on and then a skunk sprayed it

multiplied by eleven. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! WHY! JUST FUCKING

WHY!?" said Lori. All of the sisters besides Lucy screamed and cried.

Then Lynn got an idea. "Hey, Lisa killed me once. After I was playing soccer

in her bedroom and destroyed her time machine, she shot me in the head.

But so Mom and Dad couldn't find out, she revived me with one of those

fancy gadgets of hers. Maybe it's still in her old room." said Lynn. They all

went and tried to find it. It really only took a minute because the machine

had REVIVAL MACHINE written on it. The sisters went into the old shack

where Lisa's body was and zapped her with it. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT,

SATAN! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU FUCKING WANT ME TO BATHE IN A

PIT OF FUCKING HOT ASS LAVA FOR TEN MILLION YEARS! THIS IS FUCKING

RETARDED! I HATE HELL! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT I FUCKING

DID TO GET INTO HELL! ALL I DID IS KILL FIVE OF MY SISTERS AND ATTEMPT

TO START WORLD WAR III! NONE OF THAT SHIT IS EVEN BAD!" said Lisa.

"What the fuck, come on! We're in the real world here!" said Lola. "Oh my

fucking god, I was just dead! After I shot myself I was sent to hell for no

fucking reason and had to get a spike shoved up my ass while twerking

and drinking the endless blood of dead demons while singing Let It Go from

Frozen! FOR NINETY BILLION YEARS! Fucking hell! Hell fucking sucks ass!"

said Lisa. Then Leni stared at Lisa right into her face and hugged her. All

Lisa could really see was Leni's face. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! My god!

I'm still in hell!" said Lisa. "No, we revived you with one of your thingies.

We need your help. Lincoln has become president of the US after crashing

a plane into the White House, killing Trump. Well, actually, he really didn't.

He took advantage of some terrorists crashing a plane. After that, he made

some sexist, racist, and homophobic laws pretty much denying rights to

anyone who wasn't white, male, straight, Christian, or had a big dick, and

also allowing anybody to kill said people. He's obviously a menace to the

whole world and needs to be stopped. If this guy gets his hands on

nuclear weapons, he could potentially start World War III. We need to stop

him before he does anything else. But the problem is that Lincoln is hiding

somewhere we don't know so we can't kill him. We need you, Lisa. With

your help, we could stop Lincoln and bring peace to America." said Lori.

"Wow, just fucking wow. That was a fucking lot to take in. But I fucking

knew that that Jew would try to take over the world. So what the fuck

ever. My god, I smell fucking awful." said Lisa. She looked at her arm and

saw a bone with maggots eating the rest of the flesh. "DEAR GOD! HOW

FUCKING LONG WAS I DEAD!?" said Lisa. "I think it's a day since you were

grounded, so how long after that did you shoot yourself?" said Lucy.

"Pretty much right after. But I don't fucking look like I was decaying for a

day. I fucking look like one of those 2 week-old corpses with maggots and

flies and pretty much reduced to a fucking skeleton." said Lisa. She went

and took a bath, and then wrapped herself in bandages. Then she put

some clean clothes on. "So, what the fuck do you bitches want?" said Lisa.

"Maybe you could use your DNA tracker to locate Lincoln." said Lynn. "I

have one of his hairs on my bed from when I had sex with him earlier." said

Leni. "Wait, what the fuck! Whatever, let's get the hair." said Lisa. She got

the hair and entered it into the DNA tracker. "Well, it looks like there's some

traces of Lincoln's DNA inside the moon. It looks like Lincoln had a secret

moon base or something." said Lisa. "Of course! That's the most fucking

cliched secret hideout in history. Nobody would even fucking try to break

into a secret hideout on the moon, it makes no fucking sense! Anybody

who even tries to convince the military to attack some random guy who

has surpassed even the most advanced government technology would be

seen as a retarded conspiracy theorist!" said Lori. So Lisa set her portal

to the moon base and the sisters got their weapons and shit. Lisa had a

giant collection of high powered armor they could use if they ever needed

to stop an evil overlord. They got their gear and went into the portal.

Meanwhile, Hitler was using one of his new time machines. "Mein Fuhrer,

what could you possibly bring back from the past to help us take over the

world?" said Jeff. "A better question would be, WHO could I possibly bring

back from the past to help us take over the world? I'm getting my son

back from Nazi Germany." said Hitler. "Wait, what the fuck!? You don't have

a fucking son!" said Jeff. "Well, actually, I fucking do! His name is Joseph

Hitler. You see, I had sex with a whore on the side of the street and she

got pregnant. Her kid was put into an orphanage after she killed herself

and he ended up getting adopted. If I can get him back, I could have a

backup Fuhrer if I end up leaving Berlin. I'll go back in time to when he's

35 in case I can get him to rule America if I die." said Hitler. He started up

the portal and brought back Joe. "Who are these people?" said Joe. "Well,

these are the people who are going to rule the world one day." said Hitler.

"On our way to take over the world, I need to crush any and all obstacles.

The first one has to be that annoying ass Loud and the USA. That piece of

shit is hiding somewhere and when I find him, I'll kill his ass! When I rule

America, I can take over all of the other retarded nations much easier!"

said Hitler. He used a DNA scanner to locate Lincoln on the moon. "Well, it's

ready. Get all of the fellow soldiers! We head to the moon!" said Hitler. The

entire Nazi army went into a portal to the moon Hitler conjured up. "I got

us protective helmets in case of space travel." said Lisa on the moon. But

then they saw another portal open up. "OH SHIT! The tanks have

swastikas on them! It's Hitler! He found Lincoln! Let's get going!" said

Lisa. The Louds went into the moon base and hid behind a pillar. Hitler lead

his army across a ramp and down a giant staircase. "We head towards the

bottom! When we find that Loud, we'll give his ass a good beating! For

Germany! Heil der Fuhrer!" said Hitler.

To Be Continued. 


	5. Chapter 5: Clash of the Countries

Chapter 5: Clash of the Countries

Rows and rows of Nazi soldiers marched down the slope. The ones in the

middle were carrying Nazi flags. Then about fifty tanks rolled down,

followed by even more Nazi soldiers. The Louds were discussing how to get

to Lincoln now. "Here's what we do. We dress up as Nazi soldiers to blend

in with the soldiers. After getting past the German army, we sneak up on

Lincoln and stab him in the neck." said Lori. "That won't work. Women

can't be soldiers in Hitler's army. That sexist piece of shit won't let anyone

into his army. I mean, I think he hired women to pleasure the soldiers, and

you know, that's fucking disgusting. Also, if we spend all our time fucking

the soldiers, we'll never get to Lincoln." said Lisa. Meanwhile in Lincoln's

office underground, his scientists were reporting on the attack. "About

2,000 German soldiers were seen marching into the building, fully armed. It

also seems like there are tanks, about 200 of them. The soldiers also carry

the flag of Nazism and wear swastikas on their armbands." said one of the

scientists. "Fuck! I just lost my boner! Oh, what the fuck are you retards

doing again?" said Lincoln. "Mein Fuhrer, stop watching porn. We've seen

German soldiers march into the building. They appear to be Nazis." said

one of the scientists. "Nigga, please. Me and Hitler are homies, there's no

fucking way that nigga is gonna attack me." said Lincoln. "Mein Fuhrer,

you're ignoring reason! We're your most trusted scientists. We would never

sacrifice our lives just so we can protest your shitty presidency!" said one

of the scientists. Lincoln gave a hand signal to some of his bodyguards and

they ran into the room, shooting and killing all of the scientists. "I've been

wanting to release all these laws for an eternity. Now is the time!" said

Lincoln. He set up another speech. "My American people, I have came to

say that today is the day where America gets cleansed of its impurities.

I've come up with some new laws. First law, all blacks are illegal. Second

law, all Jews are illegal. Third law, all fags are illegal. Fourth law, all

mentally disabled people are illegal. Fifth law, all physically disabled people

are illegal. Sixth law, every skin color that isn't white is illegal. Seventh law,

anybody who doesn't have desirable traits or has ancestors or relatives

that fit the other laws is illegal as well. Eighth law, anybody who supports

these people is also illegal. The punishment for breaking these laws is

death. All hospitals must immediately kill any patients who break these

laws. All cops must break into people's houses and inspect their private

records in order to figure out their ancestry. Starting now, all officers in the

United States, bust into people's houses and kill any illegals you find." said

Lincoln. Immediatiely, cops broke into people's houses and killed tons and

tons and tons of minorities. About 100 million people were killed as a result

of these laws. "My fucking god! Finally! Fucking FINALLY! I need to get my

gun and kill all the slaves." said Lynn Sr. "The marijuana you're growing is

the only thing that's getting us money besides our shitty jobs. If you're

going to kill the slaves, be prepared to pay some workers." said Rita.

Lynn Sr. ignored her and used the secret elevator. He got an assault rifle

and killed all of the slaves. "FUCKING FINALLY! I GET TO KILL THOSE

NIGGERS! FUCKING FINALLY! I FUCKING HATE THOSE NIGGERS! Oh my

god, I have to check on the kids. I was too fucking focused on killing the

slaves. You fucking know, it's really fucking quiet upstairs. I don't even

fucking know who the fuck I'm fucking talking to, nigger." said Lynn Sr.

"News flash! Hell in America! Some racist laws passed by President Loud

have made any minority in America illegal. There are gunshots after

gunshots being fired in people's houses, murdering millions of people all

around the US. Conspiracy theorists have said that Loud was trying to

commit a second Holocaust when he made his first wave of racist laws, but

we never listened to them. But now, these laws have killed more people

than Hitler's Holocaust twice over. And we've only had them for 10 minutes.

People are now scared for their lives as they hide in the basement. Cops

all over America are digging as much info as possible to find a reason to kill

anybody. I'm scared for my life, too, because my grandparents were Jewish

and-" said the news guy before he was shot. Meanwhile, in the moon

base, Lincoln was keeping track of where the Nazi soldiers were. "So Hitler

thinks he can get away with betraying me. Fuck! That piece of fucking shit

probably wants to take over America! Hell no! I ain't letting that fucking shit

happen, bitch! Nobody ain't gonna stop me! Get the Robotic Plasma

Soldier units!" said Lincoln. "But Master, they're untested and highly

unstable!" said one of Lincoln's bodyguards. "I fucking know that! Deploy

them anyway! Right now, we're fucking outnumbered! I had all of my army

in a secret base back in America. I never fucking knew that some fucking

one would find this fucking place! All I have is my bodyguards, a handful of

soldiers, and those plasma robots the scientists were working on!" said

Lincoln. The RPS robots were deployed. "So, Master, how it works is that

someone climbs into the robot, then they activate it. The scientists said

that the RPS robots have built-in plasma swords, omega lasers, rocket

launchers, and assault rifles, and can withstand a nuclear explosion as well

as bullets to the glass head. They run off of batteries, and every 5 days

you need to recharge them." said one of Lincoln's bodyguards. "Nigga, that

doesn't even fucking matter. These traitors will be dead today. Also, how

the fuck did you know about that?" said Lincoln. "I was friends with one of

the scientists until you ordered for me to kill him. That was the most

retarded thing you ever did, nigger. The scientists were all you had to

develop better technology. You're a fucking retar-" said the bodyguard

before he was shot by Lincoln. "No fucking retard has the fucking authority

to talk back to me! Now I gotta get those RPS thingies." said Lincoln. He

ordered his soldiers to put on the RPS suits. They marched forward to

confront Hitler's army. When Hitler saw the RPS soldiers, he ordered his

Nazi soldiers to fire. "I can't fucking believe that Loud is still trying to kill

me. Fucking retard! I'll get that fag myself! Fuck my soldiers, I'm doing this

on my own terms!" said Hitler as he ran off to fight Lincoln himself. The Nazi

soldiers fired missiles at the RPS soldiers. They did nothing to the suits. The

RPS soldiers activated their assault rifles and shot sprays of bullets at the

Nazi soldiers, killing countless numbers of them. "Oh my god! Things are

getting intense!" said Luna to her sisters, still hiding behind a pillar. "What

do we do?" said Lynn. "We need to wait until this all blows over. With all

the chaos, we can't really get anything done without a bullet in the head."

said Lori. The Louds stayed behind. The RPS soldiers were curbstomping

Hitler's army with their wide variety of weapons and extreme durability.

"Where's der Fuhrer? We're fucking dying over here!" said Jeff. Meanwhile

while all this stuff was happening, Lynn Sr. was peeking in his kids' rooms

so he could possibly find nude pictures of them. While in Lisa and Lily's

room, he found the portal. "Nigga! This is the fucking moon! I can make out

some marching Nazi soldiers. If it's Hitler that's leading this battle, I'm

counting myself in! All I gotta do is disguise myself as a Nazi soldier and

I'll be in." said Lynn Sr. He got one of Lisa's space suits, which happened to

look like Darth Vader, and went into the portal to fight with the Nazis.

Meanwhile, Hitler found Lincoln's office from crawling through the air ducts.

When he got in, Lincoln turned around. "Welcome, my old friend. What

would you need from me?" said Lincoln.

To Be Continued. 


	6. Chapter 6: The Master Battle

Chapter 6: Lincoln vs. Hitler

"Die monster! You don't belong in this world!" said Hitler. "It is not by my

hand that I am once again given flesh. I was brought here by humans who

wish to pay me tribute." said Lincoln. "Tribute!? You steal men's souls and

make them your slaves!" said Hitler. "Perhaps the same can be said of all

religions." said Lincoln. "Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill

needs a savior such as you!" said Hitler. "What is a man!?" Lincoln threw

his wine glass onto the floor, breaking it. "A miserable little pile of secrets!

But enough talk, have at you!" said Lincoln. "Seriously, I can't fucking

believe we're referencing a 20 year old video game." said Hitler. "I'll go

ahead and reference Star Fox. Do a barrel roll! Do-do-do a barrel roll!

Do-do-do a barrel roll! Do a barrel roll!" said Lincoln. "Well, anyway, I've

came here to settle this on my own terms. I've also come here to take over

the world. You're in my fucking way, bitch!" said Hitler. "We used to be

friends! We smoked weed together, went to strip clubs together, ate babies

together, all that good shit! What the fuck are you doing here! Wait a

second... The nuke that was launched at the White House had a swastika

on it! You were the one who tried to kill me!' said Lincoln. "Fuck yes, nigga!

I fucking tried to nuke your ass! But your trolling ass fucking misled me! I

thought you were better than that! I thought you were above tricking your

best friend! I mean, not even I would do that! I've killed six million Jews,

caused the most expensive and lethal war in history, and cheated on my

girlfriend, and not even I would be so low as to betray my friend!" said

Hitler. "First of all, who said we were friends, let alone best friends as you

claim! Second of all, I can do whatever the fuck I want to! Being the

president allows me to have whatever I want, kill whoever I want, fuck

whoever I want, and shit like that! So get off my ass! Who gives a shit

about what the fuck I do!? Third of all, fuck you! And for last, I've made

laws that have caused millions of deaths, started World War III, which has

already done more damage and killed more people than World War II, and

on a more personal level, I've done much worse than cheat on my girl, I

cheated on her with my sisters! Nine of them! I also had sweet hot illegal

sex with sluts on the side of the road! And I've also tried multiple times to

bomb my school, actually succeeding once, and I've personally shot about

a thousand people in the head myself! And you think betraying someone I

don't even really know all that well is WORSE than all that!? You're

a fucking retard!" said Lincoln. "Enough witty banter! Let's fucking fight!"

said Hitler. Hitler got out a lightsaber out of his pocket. Lincoln did the same

and ran towards Hitler. He hit Hitler in the elbow, but he countered with a

hit on the shoulder. Lincoln and Hitler did a classic lightsaber fight and it

was really epic. Then Lincoln pressed a secret button, removing the floor

and revealing a giant pit. While Lincoln and Hitler were falling, they still

exchanged blows. They fell onto a floating platform while seizure-inducing

strobe lights flickered in the background. "Those fucking special effects are

boss, dude! Fucking perfect for a final boss battle!" said Hitler. "Final boss

battle? Fitting, considering that you will spend the rest of your time after

this fight in hell where you belong." said Lincoln. Lincoln cut off Hitler's arm

next. "HOLY FUCKING JESUS! MY FUCKING ARM FUCKING HURTS! FUCK!

FUCK! ASS! SHIT! NIGGER!" said Hitler. Lincoln kicked Hitler in the nuts

and he fell off the platform, just barely hanging on the edge. "You filthy

bastard! You'll NEVER win! Good will always win in the end! You're a

fucking awful sack of shit! You can go jump off a cliff and die!" said Hitler.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you, you fucking Jew." said Lincoln. But then, all of a

sudden, some guy who looked like Darth Vader fell onto the platform. "Who

the fuck are you, nigga!? Are you some kind of drug dealer or something?"

said Lincoln. "No, I am your father." said Lynn Sr. who took off his mask.

"Finally, fucking finally! Finally someone quotes it right! Well, it wouldn't

make any fucking sense anyway, you know, cuz my name's not Luke." said

Lincoln. "Mein Fuhrer! What the fuck happened to your fucking arm!?" said

Lynn Sr. "Lynn, I want you to know something. You psycho son is trying to

kill me. You have to choose... me... or Lincoln, your only son..." said Hitler as

Lynn Sr. lifted him back up. "I have to make the most logical choice. I know

that Lincoln is my son, but he caused World War III and killed millions of

people with his shitty laws. I'm just going with mein Fuhrer here." said

Lynn Sr. Then, all of a sudden, another Darth Vader lookalike showed up.

"Who the fuck are you supposed to be!? Some kind of Jew or something?

A BLM activist?" said Hitler. "No, you are my father." said the other Darth

Vader lookalike who took off his mask, revealing it to be Joe Hitler, Hitler's

son. "All of you STOP! This is madness! I have committed my whole life ever

since Dad got me back from World War II-era Germany to stopping you,

Lincoln Loud, from taking over the world and ruling with an iron fist. You've

gone too far! I'll have to be forced to kill you!" said Joe. "That's not going

to fucking happen, bitch! Soldiers!" said Lincoln. All of a sudden, bridges

from the left and right opened up, connecting the platform with the walls.

Then elevators opened up, revealing Lincoln's soldiers. They pointed guns

at Hitler, Joe, and Lynn Sr. "Take these three and throw them in the waiting

chamber!" said Lincoln. The soldiers took the three and put them in jail cells

underground. Lincoln walked over to Hitler's cell. "Bring this Jew out." said

Lincoln to the guard. The guard brought Hitler out and handcuffed him.

"Today is the day you die. I'm bringing you to the execution chamber. I'll be

debating with my fellow associates over the method of your death. But I

know that it'll be long and involve a lot of torture. You know, maybe I could

do an ironic death, you know, use poison gas against you like you used

against the Jews. Or maybe I could melt you in acid. Or maybe I could rip

out your lungs and slit your wrists while you die." said Lincoln. In the

torture chamber, Hitler was sitting in a chair about to be executed. "I just

wanted to say, you're not just the worst president, but you're the worst

person in history. All the things you did, starting World War III, killing tons

of your American population, slaughtering all those people! You're a fucking

sick bastard! There's no point in continuing now! The hands of God will take

you down! Fate will kill you eventually! A sick fuck like you never gets away

with committing genocide! It is by the hands of God, and the soul of Jesus

Christ, that you will eventually be brought down. All the lives sacrificed, all

the people you've killed for no fucking reason, will eventually catch up with

you. Nobody can run from their past forever, not even you. Being rich

means nothing in the face of immortal beings such as God. Screwing the

rules by ways of currency only gets you as far as a mortal can accomplish.

Only by ascent to godhood can you truly conquer the world, for that it

takes only one man to stand against your awful laws. It only takes one

man to stop you. As long as there is good, evil will never win. On the behalf

of all humanity, I hereby say, fuck you." said Hitler. Lincoln pulled out a

pistol from his pocket and shot Hitler in the head. "That fucking Jew

wouldn't shut the fuck up. So, even though I don't have scientists, I can

still launch my plan. Commence Operation: Destroy Earth!" said Lincoln.

"Yes, Mein Fuhrer. We have the nuclear weapons ready to launch at Earth.

All it takes now is the press of this button and Earth would be destroyed.

That dumbass Hitler was only a nuisance. The Nazi forces should be mostly

dead by now. After we get this operational, we will launch all we have at

those goddamn Earthlings." said one of Lincoln's soldiers.

To Be Continued. 


	7. Chapter 7: Lincoln's Revenge

Chapter 7: Lincoln's Revenge

Lincoln opened communications with the speaker. "Attention, niggers! Your

Fuhrer has been killed! After a badass fight, I was able to capture Hitler

and his stupid ass friends. I shot that fag in the head, so if you're a Nazi

soldier, your ass is fucked." said Lincoln over the speaker. "OH SHIT!" said

the Nazi soldiers. They ran out of the base and into the portal leading to

Hitler's bunker. "NO! DAD!" said Joe. "Psst! Retard! I don't fucking like

this place either! But if we stick together, we can get that Jew before he

kills us too!" said Lynn Sr. in the next cell over. "How can we get out of the

cells!? We're locked in!" said Joe. "Real fucking simple, nigga. I can use this

spoon I got from the school I was faking being a teacher at. All it takes is

digging in this stone wall enough and we'll be free." said Lynn Sr. "Do you

actually think that'll work? I mean, why would Loud make stone jail cells in

the 21st century? That's from the medieval ages, I think." said Joe. "Well,

the only people he would imprison here are runaway slaves, so maybe he

didn't want to waste his money here. Also, while you were talking, I went

and dug the hole out of here. Let's go." said Lynn Sr. They crawled through

the hole and into a room. It was filled with RPS suits. "You thinking what

I'm thinking?" said Joe. "I'm thinking about all the times I had sex with my

daughters. Is that what YOU'RE thinking?" said Lynn Sr. "No, idiot! I'm

thinking we can steal some of those suits! Then we find Loud and get him!"

said Joe. "Okay, fine, whatever." said Lynn Sr. They got into the suits and

powered them on. They blew up the door next. "It's so simple. We go up

to Loud. He'll think we're his soldiers. Then when his guard is down, we

shoot him in the head." said Joe. "Uh, that Loud is my son. I don't know

how he became president, but he's my kid. I can't just fucking kill him!" said

Lynn Sr. "You're not above slavery, so what worse is killing your kid?" said

Joe. "Oh, right! I've also had sex with my daughters." said Lynn Sr. "Yeah, I

know. Whatever. After we kill Loud, I will see if I could become president. I

would make a much better president, in my opinion." said Joe. They went

into the hallway. "Hey-o! Fellow officer dude!" said Lynn Sr. "Nigga, how ya

doin'? How is mah nigga?" said the soldier they ran into. "Remember the

mission! We're not here to talk to random weirdos!" said Joe. "Mah nigga,

chill the fuck, yo! Uh, nigga! Where's Lincoln- I mean President Loud- I

mean mein Fuhrer at?" said Lynn Sr. "He's over past that blockade of highly

armed soldiers, DNA detectors, and automatic missile launchers. If they

detect the DNA of someone mein Fuhrer deems a threat, all of them will fire

at them." said the soldier. "Thanks, yo. Bye, mah nigga!" said Lynn Sr. He

and Joe went to deliberate on their next step. "We need to find a way

around that." said Joe. "Well, my daughters crawl through the air ducts all

the fucking time. If Lincoln was even the slightest bit sane, he would have

air ducts leading to his room." said Lynn Sr. "There's an air duct entrance

over there." said Joe. They crawled into the air duct leading to Lincoln's

office. When they lept out, Lincoln was turned around. "Nigger! Turn your

ass back! We're here to wreck your shit!" said Lynn Sr. "No, no, no, mein

Fuhrer. We're here to ask for permission." said Joe. Lincoln turned around.

"What is it, soldiers?" said Lincoln. "We need you to get something." said

Joe. "Get what?" said Lincoln. Lynn Sr. walked up to Lincoln. "Rekt!" said

Lynn Sr. as he shot Lincoln in the leg using the RPS finger pistol. "FUCK!

ASS! Fuck! I fucking knew you weren't soldiers, Dad and Hitler's gay son!

I had my soldiers right outside the door! Get in here!" said Lincoln. The

soldiers who were waiting outside the door busted in. They shot at Lynn Sr.

and Joe. However, the strength of the suits kept them protected. "Kill them!

Fucking kill them! Fucking kill their asses!" said Lincoln. Lincoln was met

with a bullet to the heart. "MEIN FUHRER!" said the soldiers. They brought

Lincoln out of the room. "HELL FUCKING YES! THAT NIGGER'S FINALLY

FUCKING DEAD! YEAH!" said Lynn Sr. Joe was celebrating like a maniac

and flopping like a fish on the ground, out of his RPS suit. "That retard Loud

fucking shot himself in the foot when he killed his scientists." said a soldier.

"Yeah, I know someone who's alive. He's Loud's scientist doctor. Also I

know one of Lincoln's scientists who survived. During Chapter 5, he was in

the bathroom. He ate some Taco Bell that didn't agree with him, so he was

in there for the whole chapter. If we can get those two, maybe we can get

a robot suit for Loud." said the other soldier. They went and found the

doctor and scientist. "So der Fuhrer was shot in the heart. Well, that should

be easy. All we need to do is cut his head off and attach it to a robot suit."

said the scientist. The scientist and doctor worked together to put Lincoln's

head on a robot body. "What the fuck, man? I was just fucking shot, nigga!

Jesus, I gotta eat some Mcdonalds!" said Lincoln. "Mein Fuhrer! You're alive

and shit!" said the doctor. "Nigga, I gotta smoke some weed." said Lincoln.

Lincoln was now six feet tall. He put on a professional-looking suit and

went to his office. "Yo, let's steal another stack of cash. And here's another

wad of bills. Here, take all these gold coins." said Lynn Sr. who was stealing

Lincoln's money. Then, all of a sudden, Lincoln burst into the room with a

high-powered plasma sword. "Which one of you niggas wants to die first?"

said Lincoln. Lynn Sr. screamed like a little girl. "Loud, you scumbag! I can't

believe you actually got a robot body!" said Joe. Lincoln lunged at Joe and

grabbed him by the neck. "You're the fucking legacy of the Hitler family,

aren't you?" said Lincoln. "You... sick... freak..." said Joe. "Fuck this shit I'm

out!" said Lynn Sr. as he moonwalked out of Lincoln's office. "You heard me,

now RESPOND TO ME! GIVE ME A FUCKING ANSWER! ARE YOU THE SON OF

ADOLF HITLER!?" said Lincoln. "I'll never dignify you with a... response..."

said Joe. "GOD FUCKING DAMN! ROT IN HELL!" said Lincoln. Then Joe

pushed Lincoln from his grip on Joe's neck. "YOU KILLED MY FATHER! NOW

I'LL END YOU, LOUD!" said Joe. Lincoln swung at Joe, but he ran off. "You

fucking retarded bastard douchebag!" said Lincoln. He activated the boost

rockets in his feet and rocketed about 80 miles per hour towards Joe. "I

need to have my revenge! Only then will I finally have closure on this hell!"

said Lincoln. He shot plasma missiles at Joe. Joe kicked them in reverse.

Lincoln punched them and made them explode. Joe ran behind a corner.

"Where are you, you gay ass motherfucker?" said Lincoln. He disabled his

boost engine and searched for Joe on the floor. When Lincoln found Joe, he

shot him in the leg. "GAHHHH!" said Joe. He limped away from Lincoln. "GET

OVER HERE!" said Lincoln. He swung at Joe and sliced off his head. "YES!

FUCKING FINALLY! THAT PIECE OF SHIT IS DEAD!" said Lincoln. He went

back to his office. But did he really kill Joe? It turns out, in reality, the Joe

Lincoln was fighting was a rogue RPS suit colored so it looked like Joe.

When Joe ran away, he found the suit and some paint. He colored the suit

so it would look like him. Then he poured some water to short-circuit the

robot so it would malfunction and look like it was fighting Lincoln. Then Joe

put out the robot to make it look like he was running away. And lastly, Joe

went into the elevator and back to the first floor. When he found the Loud

sisters, he said "Look, I need your help! Please! The psycho president got

turned into a cyborg and then he almost killed a balding man in his forties

and I tricked him by painting a robot suit to look like me! I need some

backup soldiers to stop Loud! Are you girls in to help me?" said Joe.

To Be Continued. 


	8. Chapter 8: The Final Battle

Chapter 8: The Final Battle

Finally, I wanted to finish this one! I've already written the first chapter of

the next fic, by the way. Also, the chapter name is cliched as all hell.

"What do you have?" said Lisa after Joe told them about what happened.

"So, what is it? Coke, meth, weed, crack, steroids, LSD, heroin, or Pringles,

because you need to be high as fuck to make all that shit up." said Lisa.

"It's real! Loud has captured a forty year old man and got killed, but he

came back as a cyborg! Then I had to trick him in order to escape! I don't

know who you are, but I need your help!" said Joe. "I dunno, are you one

of Lincoln's soldiers in disguise?" said Luna. "No! There's a reason why I

came to you to ask for help to KILL Loud!" said Joe. "Well, let's take a vote

on this. All in favor of joining this guy?" said Lori. Everybody besides Lori

and Lisa raised their hands. "Fuck! Fucking fine! We'll go with your plan!

But if you trick us, I'll literally fucking tear your throat out!" said Lori. "Well,

we need to get to the RPS suits first. I think there are about 20 left. If we

can get them, we can possibly kill Loud. The suits are specially designed to

withstand the force of a nuke, while Loud's metal body is not nearly as

strong. The scientists slapped it together in the span of 5 minutes." said

Joe. Joe and the sisters went into the cell room where Lynn Sr. and Joe

were being held. They went through the hole in the wall and found the RPS

suits. The sisters and Joe each got into one. "Whoa, this is awesome!" said

Lynn. To test it, the sisters fired some shots into the wall. "Focus, girls! We

need to get to Loud's office!" said Joe. Meanwhile in Lincoln's office, Lincoln

was setting up the world destroyer. "Niggas, is the machine calibrated?"

said Lincoln. "Yes, mein Fuhrer. Earth will soon be destroyed. All the nukes

are ready to launch." said one of the scientists. "Good. In fifteen minutes

you'll press the button. 900 seconds, 899 seconds, 898 seconds, 897

seconds. This is boring as hell." said Lincoln. All of a sudden, Joe and the

Loud sisters busted into the room. "Die monster! You don't belong in this

world!" said Joe. "Oh, fuck! I fucking KNEW that you bitches would try to

kill me!" said Lincoln. "You've came far enough! All you need to do now is

give up! Give up, Lincoln! Give up while you still have your morality! Give up

while your life still means something! All it takes is three words! I! Give! Up!

Call back your armies and step down! Someone like you can't possibly keep

the title of the president!" said Lori. "Fine! Soldiers, stop! My older sister

has convinced me that being president is much more than being waist

deep in cash. I have done enough. I will withdraw my armies from all my

enemy countries and erase all my laws. Everything will go back to normal.

We can be a family again. We, our parents, and our lives, will all be whole

again." said Lincoln. He had his soldiers take his sisters out of the room.

Midway through the room, Lincoln said something. "I would just like to say

one more thing." said Lincoln. "And what is that?" said Lola. "Surprise

motherfucker!" said Lincoln. His soldiers pulled out assault rifles and shot

bullets at the Louds. "Do you fucking honestly think that all it takes is a

fucking retarded speech to stop me!? DO YOU FUCKING THINK! THAT! I!

WOULD BE FUCKING STUPID ENOUGH! TO! FALL FOR THAT!" said Lincoln.

"You sick fucking bastard!" said Lori. The Loud sisters shot bullets at Lincoln

but his metal armor protected him from the shots. Lincoln shot missiles at

his sisters, but the strong RPS suits protected them. "You're disgusting! I

can get past the fact that you started World War III. I can get past the

fact that you killed millions of people. I don't even mind the billions of

people World War III killed. But lying to your siblings and tricking them with

a false surrender is the most vile thing I've ever seen!" said Joe. "Mein

Fuhrer, the RPS suits are near indestructible! It would take the power of a

hundred nukes to even make a dent in one of those!" said one of the

scientists. "Well, I got a secret weapon. You trusted me with a button to

disable the RPS soldiers. Well, here it is." said Lincoln. He pulled out a

button. He pressed it. The RPS robots suddenly stopped. "What the fuck

happened!? They're fucking stopped!" said Lisa. "I hope you bitches like

hell, because that's where you'll be staying for the next eternity! Hope you

can enjoy your last moments of your life! Because THESE ARE YOUR LAST!"

said Lincoln. All of a sudden, Joe shot Lincoln in the head. "That's his one

weakness. Even though his body is robotic, he's still got a human head."

said Joe. Then, all of a sudden, Lincoln stood back up. "HOW THE HECK ARE

YOU STILL ALIVE!?" said Joe. "The holy Plot God, Bobthemasta, has

made my head into invincible shit." said Lincoln. "You sly douche!" said Lisa.

"Fire up the nukes! Earth dies NOW!" said Lincoln. "We have to stop that

superweapon or whatever!" said Luna. "I got this, bitches." said Lisa. She

shot a bullet into the nuke button. "YOU FUCKING BITCHES!" said Lincoln.

Then Lori went up and pressed the Base Self Destruct Button. "Base to be

destroyed in T-minus 69 seconds. 69, 68, 67..." said the computer voice.

"Fuck this shit I'm out!" said Lincoln. He went out in an escape pod and

landed in his bedroom. Joe got the sisters out of the base. "5, 4, 3, 2..."

said the computer. Joe pushed the Louds out and then went in. Right after

that, the base exploded into millions of pieces. "FUCK!" said Lincoln who

was watching the moon from his bedroom. "Well, Lincoln? I found a body

that looked like yours back at the base. I'll go ahead and stitch it back on."

said Lisa. Lisa went to replace Lincoln's robot body with his old one. Joe

ended up next to the rebuilt White House. "Huh, they rebuilt it! Wait! I

could be president! Yeah! Now that Loud's gone, I can rule America!" said

Joe. Joe signed up and was accepted as the new president. "News Flash!

World War III is finally over! After Loud's defeat, Joseph Hitler became the

new president of America. He has made all of Loud's laws illegal and

drafted peace treaties for the countries Loud's invaded. The total death

and cost total is staggering. A total of 3 billion people were killed during

World War III. Yes, that's billion with a capital B. That means that almost

half of the world's population was killed because of one man. Costs add up

to about a fourth of the whole amount of money in the world. Once strong

and rich nations have delved deep into debt because of the war. Families

that couldn't afford anything have committed suicide. Suicide rates in

general have gone up 75 times the normal rate. Loud will go down in

history as the most evil man. Many times worse than Adolf Hitler. But we

will rise out of this period of turmoil and rise above this hell. America might

be in ruins, but we will never be. Hope to the future, and hope to America."

said the news guy. "LINCOLN! GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE RIGHT THE FUCK

NOW!" said Lynn Sr. right after Lincoln got his body stitched back on. He

walked downstairs. "For starting World War III, killing millions of people,

trying to kill your sisters, and being gay, your punishment is to go sit in the

corner and think about what you've done for a minute." said Lynn Sr. After

a minute, Lincoln ran back to his room. "Are you high!? Lincoln has done

some of the worst atrocities imaginable! And you send him to the corner!?"

said Rita to Lynn Sr. "Oh, come the fuck on! I have fucking better things to

do, bitch! Now get the fuck off my ass before I beat you again!" said

Lynn Sr. "AND LISA! YOU'RE STILL GROUNDED FROM YOUR ROOM AND

FROM ANYTHING ELSE!" said Lynn Sr. "Wait, Lisa got grounded?" said Rita.

"I'll fucking explain later." said Lynn Sr. "God, I have to get my revenge! I

can't let those fags ruin my fucking revenge against Leni! All that president

shit got me sidetracked! I have to kill Leni NOW!" said Lisa.

To Be Continued in Lisa's Revenge 2. 


End file.
